Your H's expressed Love Language is clearly Acts of Service. It's my belief that people who DO acts of service do them because the love language they want to RECEIVE is Words of Affirmation. Try responding to such acts with praise - don't be afraid to overdo it. "Gee, thank you SO much for washing my car. It's so nice to drive a clean car. You do such a nice job."
If you haven't read The Five Love Languages by Chapman you should. It can be hard to use the love languages when you're trying to be low contact, but there are ways.
