Not Ready To Give Up!

[ovrrnbw]

Hi there,

I read your sitch yesterday. You are in a tough spot. Don't make too many major changes until you've learned and read enough to make an informed decision.

The best things you can do are: GAL, be attractive in all ways, learn when to listen and when to not be available, and most importantly: DETACH. I would read the detachment thread a lot so that you can learn to see things clearly and make good choices that are not emotionally driven.

So, I've decided that from this point on I don't care what she does, she will never get another reaction from me. She doesn't exist to me anymore except that she's the OW and she's not my problem here, H is. The OW is his problem. This is one of my first 180's, no reaction to the OW, in fact don't mention her at all.

This is great. Never be a victim, never give up your power.

If I pull way back it seems like I'll be giving more of the same that was the starting point but if I'm overly loving he seems to like it but he won't do the things I need him to do to assure me he's gone NC with the OW so it feels like he's cake eating. I won't be in an open marriage. Help!

Also true. It's hard to figure out exactly where the line is. It's different for everyone. I believe you want to leave him wanting more, always. Learn how to text and speak where he wants to know what's next. Google exbfrecovery and that author has a great aid on how to text. There's plenty of other resources to aid you in seduction and influence.