So happy for you with the new job! Way to go! Your analysis is correct...stay for now see where things go...one day at a time focusing on you.
You did really well during the “talk”. I agree with job’s feedback above about the car and desk situation. Always remember it’s your house too...he doesn’t get to make you feel uncomfortable...trust me I know easier said than done with H in our face, us trying to detach and avoid any spew sessions...right? Lol It’s definitely a matter of finding a balance.
Originally Posted by cardinal
My instinct was to bring up this supposed D again, or to say, again, when is work on this supposed agreement starting? To again suggest mediation. But that feels like me pushing again and getting no results in return--I pushed for financial docs 6 weeks ago, and, no surprise, still have not gotten any. Should I be proactively doing anything else here? I have a retainer ready to sign as soon as I decide I need a L. I'm still holding out hope that H will decide to leave on his own. I'm not sure if getting served papers would push me to retain L right away or if it would depend on what else was happening. I think my friends are hoping I would just file, but I'm not quite there yet.
I can only compare to my situation, and I have firmly decided I will not “help” him make any decisions or move things along when it comes to “his” D. This is not “my” D...I don’t have to own it therefore I choose to comply with any legal Movement when I have to but not push anything forward. In my ‘sitch I feel like his L is now using scare tactics that I will do everything in my power to ignore and not let the fear creep back in.
You get to choose what you want to do and unfortunately there’s no handbook on this...as similar as our situations are the people are all so different (I think anyway lol!)... my point being do what feels right for you and your values.
As for bringing up anything like “the supposed D” For example, I wouldn’t. I constantly struggle with this too. I think what happens with me is that the rational, sane thinking mind wants progress, forward movement, understanding of some sort..but MLC doesn’t work that way. I just reached out for advice on communication with H too. I’m learning that 9 if not 10 times out of 10 silence is golden. Trying to communicate with my H right now only brings more conflict he doesn’t want to hear it and can’t understand any of it anyway.
You did well Cardinal...keep doing you. Can’t wait to hear more about the new job. (((Cardinal)))
