Finding the man I want to be, alone. Pack_19 part3

[Pack_19]

Pack,

I have warned you multiple times that you need to learn to control your emotions. You are still trying to control her by issuing bogus ultimatums. She is living the life as a single woman and I would suggest you do the same. Leave her be and live your life.

Hi LH,

I have been thinking a lot about my mistakes lately and specially the last down I had since last week. I think I have a problem to address in myself and that desire to control both this situation and the outcome to be R. I have been thinking how irrational it is to try and get someone, who does not want to be with you, to engage in the reconstruction of something different regardless of how fulfilling you think that would be.

Truth is I caused suffering to the one person that decided to grant me all her time and now I am pressuring her when I know I love her above all and I should be respecting the decision she has taken to stay apart from me. I have been thinking that I need this time to remove those poor behaviors and beliefs in me, that I need to rely on friends and family but that my main goal should be to prepare myself in a healthy way to whatever life throws me next. In addition I have already a playground to experiment how those changes are building up, my children and my relationship with them.

It is unavoidable to have thoughts about what she is doing, how she is doing and whether she thinks about our past together or not, I need to let them come and go and remain focused on making me a better person.

I went for a long run yesterday (13 km) and then went our for dinner with some good friends and I had a great time. We left early because I had to put S2 to sleep. I am going to ask my IC to focus on that need to control my emotions and let her go.

My revised goals:

Physical:
- Eat healthy, exercise regularly and increase my muscle mass.
Intellectual:
- Promote to L6 at work, read books about subjects I enjoy and attend cultural events
Emotional:
- Learn to listen actively and letting W go. Accept I cannot control the outcome of this situation. Work on my confidence, boosting attraction and detach from W.
Spiritual:
- Improve my relationship with God and others. Remain optimism and be a source of happiness and positivity.

Thank you for your support and help LH. I cannot confirm if W is having an A. If I knew I would be the one to file but for now I will remain focused on my problems.