Work was not painful these past 2 days and it was slow. I worked with one of my fav people at my other job, so it made it easier. And time and a half! Woot woot!
My poison ivy is getting much better. I’m still pretty discolored but it’s feeling so much better.
I got invited 2 places this weekend and I was unable to go because of work, but I’m sad, because I am desperate for the adult socialization.
D starts virtual school tomorrow. She’s excited and she set up her desk so nicely. I can’t believe it’s her 8th grade year and then she will be off to high school. Time certainly flies. She is really a wonderful kid and though kind of a spiked unappreciative brat lately. Partially my fault. But overall she’s an incredible kid, she just happens to be becoming a very hormonal teenager. I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen custody wise. She didn’t take the extra day this week. And with school it might be more difficult for her to take. But I will support her if she wants to go to her dads for the extra day.
I have to admit. I’m ready for a little more normal in my life. I want to get my foot fixed to I can go back to the gym now that it’s open . I’m setting up an apt this week to schedule my procedure. It’s a minor one. It will be worth it. I don’t feel all that healthy. I mean, I am generally a healthy person. I almost never get sick. But I get these weird things that happen to me. And I am used to being pretty active and I haven’t been. I don’t think my body likes it. I need to figure something out. I don’t like how I feel. I need to find a way to socialize more. I have some work events coming up which might help.
There are literally so many things I want to do but have no one to do then with. I wish there was an app for an activity buddy. Sure, I can do some myself, but they aren’t nearly as fun by myself.
I admit, I often thing of M and me. Tomorrow would have been our first date anniversary. I still think “what if I didn’t push so much for certain things?” I’m still missing some closure there. The what could have been a seem so great. But they are simply what could have beens.
What actually is right now is a bit isolating. And kind of sad. But I’m hoping to find a way to make it better. I do really try. I want to feel better on physically and mentally and I think I’m just overwhelmed and don’t know where to start.
My tough time of the year is coming. And all the other times are tough, but this is a seriously tough time of year to be solo. But I can do it.
I also realize I have to stop acting like such a martyr with my ex and that whole situation. I am not too good. 8 am probably just too week. I’m going to start working on that too
