For me an open M is a deal breaker as I said but I am such a weak person in front of her I dont know how to bring it up. Could I get some help from the board? I want this clarified, for me is not fair to be treated in this way, I would not do it to anyone and I cannot stand someone doing this to me. Again I have only heard a rumor but it is killing me inside.
Pack. You keep asking for help on this board but are you actually listening to the advice?
You have already told her MULTIPLE times that it's not fair. You keep trying to clarify. She gets it - it doesn't change anything for HER.
So knowing that - what can YOU do for YOU? If an open marriage is truly a deal breaker for YOU - then initiate the divorce. Not as some tactic or some way to prove something to her (which IMHO would be your reasoning behind actually initiating it).
If you don't want to be treated a certain way... then stop it. You have all the power here. Not over her but your own life. Do you see that??
STOP looking to your w for the answers. STOP holding her responsible for your feelings and your life. The sooner you can switch your focus from her to you - the better you will be.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
