Part of it is that it was a fight that never needed to happen. That had to make it that much more difficult and understandably taxing mentally, emotionally and physically. I'm sorry that the win still means some time without the kids for the time being. That is lose/lose for everyone including the person who convinced herself that you're toxic.
I hope you can get some reprieve. Time to collect yourself and relish in some peace.
Your battle encourages me and perhaps others to keep pushing along. Take care U.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated