That being said, he left me because I gained weight because of my deep depression. I didn't love my self - therefore he didn't love me. I have lost 45 lbs and I now do CrossFit 3 days a week. I feel better and did a 180 and I am loving myself. I started IC and have requested to him to do MC. we are intimate and feel hopeful we can get through this rough patch. Any suggestions are welcome and I invite positive comments.
Is this a lie that he told you or you told yourself? Either way - It is just cr@p.
Originally Posted by BB205
I am committed to being married and he is sorry and has no more contact with her, due to my 'Change' - sex IMO
I didn't see your responses to other's questions. Did you take an STD test? Why are you having physical intimacy so soon? It's not unusual for betrayed spouses to set a physical boundary for awhile until healing has happened. Much more healing that what I am seeing in your threads.
What boundaries have you established with him??
Originally Posted by BB205
My Anniversary is in two days, and I'm not sure how to handle it. Card? Gift? 2X 4? HELP
Don't initiate anything with him. Let him pursue you. If he wants to do something - feel free to come back on the board and ask our thoughts about it. But IMO - you do nothing. It's gonna feel weird, even wrong, but I am seeing a little bit too much pursuit on your end.
Ending contact is a good first step... but the real work is the reasons behind his choice to go outside the marriage. Anything short of that - is just breadcrumbs and will ultimately not heal the relationship.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
