Divorce and Acceptance part 5

[Pax_luv]

Hello hello. Popping in to unload some thoughts. My saga will soon come to and end and I’m exhausted by the stress and excitement of it all. I can feel the toll it’s taking.

Interesting, after 5 years, I finally shared the whole story with my family last night. They knew bits and pieces but I never gave them the whole picture all at once. There were many things I left out over the years. But, I’m so far out now that I can share my experience and all those details that I’ve kept quiet. In the past, I was too emotional about it, it was really hard to talk about. Even today, I have such an emotional hangover after reliving the sitch last night. It’s just so weird.

I keep having dreams that my ex is trying to murder me. Uhhhhhh that’s not good! I’ve had 3 in the last 2 weeks. I know it’s because of what I’m up against but It’s still hard.

In each dream, he comes off as totally calm, collected, but he keeps trapping me. It’s like no matter what I do, he masterminds the whole thing so I am stuck no matter what I do. And he keeps telling me that I am doing this to myself. It’s like one of those “Saw” movies. I know there’s some psychology there I need to unpack but I’m too tired haha

As mentioned, this whole process is taking its toll. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Regardless of what happens, I will be free soon. Just typing that brings tears to my eyes. I’ll finally be free.