I have to disagree Gerda. Nothing bad happened to S2 that couldn't have happened with any normal dad (let's face it, father's are usually the risk takers with kids anyway). And rather than get into a huge legal fight and have her ex continue to draw her in, giving him a reasonable custody schedule (which any judge would have given him anyway, btw) and then watching him come up with excuses not to take it is the way to go. He will probably take S2 LESS this way anyway. When dealing with someone who is personality disordered like this, you have to think strategically and pick your battles.
And he should agree to giving her the address now that he's seen how many people got involved.
Scout, just put it all in emails so you have copies of his responses should you ever need them in court, Then keep track of how many times he declines his custody days. Never say anything in writing that you wouldn't want to have show up in court.
Your ex is seething that you are moving on with your life and he still wants to think of you waiting patiently for him at home. They almost all do. He's trying to use the custody stuff to provoke a response from you because he's not getting satisfaction in any other way. In aikido, you use the body weight and momentum of the other person to throw them 0 kinda like the ultimate dropping the rope in a game of tug-of-war. This is gonna leave him befuddled.
(Funny story from my own divorce after 24 years: when my ex finally left, it was really a three strikes and you're out situation. After a couple of months I felt I had done everything possible to save my marriage over the previous ten years since his last affair, and that there was no way I would ever trust him again, so I let go. I soon after started dating a lovely man who lived 11 hours away, and would go visit him one long weekend a month. He was terribly sexy and I had brought home one of his t-shirts which had his lovely body scent all over it. I slept with it under my pillow. He was a very tall man, 6'6", so the shirt was quite large.
My ex was pushing to sell the house so one of those weekends that I was gone to visit the boyfriend he was at the house getting it ready to sell. I had left my bed unmade so he made it. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when he discovered this very tall man's t-shirt under my pillow. )
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