Gigi - That key ring with a pic of the four of them makes me want to vomit on your behalf. Some people have zero class.
Sage: RE: gifts from unwanted sources. Out of your control, I’m afraid. If your H wants them to get gifts from her, they will get them. So no point in trying to run interference, IMO. But...I would not facilitate any writing of thank you cards. Good for you for not reacting. If you want your kids to get through this as unscathed as possible, you need to get good at that.
My H introduced our kids to OW three months before I found out about his double life...as the mother of a student of his (lie - kid went to his school but was never in his class). After that it was as his roommate until eventually they got used to her and she just became part of their dad’s life. I remember thinking how unfair and inappropriate it was. I would have loved to tell them EXACTLY what their dad did and OW’s part in it. But...in the end, I chose better not bitter (thanks to the folks on here) and I kept my kids out of it as much as possible (they were 10...they figured some things out on their own) and never made them feel bad for wanting to see their dad or for liking OW. And now that I am happy and doing well, I am really, really glad I did. They spend 50% of their time with their dad and OW. If anything ever happened to me, they would spend 100% of their time with them so it is important to me that they feel comfortable, safe and guilt-free when they are with them. Even though XH and OW don’t deserve it, my kids do.
Anyway...that’s an opinion from someone who has walked a mile in your shoes and made it to the end. I never thought I would get there. If you read my thread from my early days, you will see how devastated I was. But little by little, step by step, I let go of him and the life I thought I would lead and began to embrace the one I do have...and it’s a really good one. You can get there too. (((HUGS)))
