X finally responded to my calls, texts and messages at 11am. He was calling from the car and OW was there too.
Me: Hello, where is S2? X: We are leaving X town so we're 90 minutes away. Me: Why didn't you let me know earlier what your plan was? X: Well, sh!t happens and I handled it. Me: You have a legal responsibility to let me know where S2 is when you take him without my permission. X: Oh really? You have a legal responsibility to let me see my son but you don't do that, do you? Me: When have I ever prevented you from seeing him? X: This weekend. You are even more controlling now than you were when we were in a relationship. Me: I have only refused adhoc changes when we already have plans. X: *stutters* Well, well, you don't tell me every time S2 sleeps away from home! Me: He hasn't ever slept away from home. X: *scoffs* You're saying he never slept at your parents' place? Me: No, he hasn't. It's not in his best interest to spend overnights away from home at this age. X: See, you're just saying that to keep him away from me. Me: S2 can start spending overnights with you, but it needs to be a transition over time, ands I want it done through formal, legal channels with a binding agreement. That is how divorce works. X: I've tried but you wouldn't let me! Me: I was in the middle of negotiating and you stopped responding. How is it my fault if you stopped participating in the process? X: You wouldn't even give me one overnight a week! Me: I offered to start with a dinner and a monthly overnight and increase over time. X: That's not what I wanted! Me: You are not above the rules. It's about what's best for S2. X: You don't even speak to me at the front door! You never tell me when he's sick! You antagonise me with balloons! (LOL) Me: We are not friends, what do we have to speak about? I'll tell you if he is sick enough to require medical attention, not for every sniffle and cough. X: You're saying he hasn't been to the doctor in a year? Me: No, he hasn't. X: What about S2? I always encourage him to say goodbye to you at the front door and you never do! Me: The only thing I want to speak to you about is childcare arrangements, and I want it done in writing to prevent abuse. X: Are you recording this call? Me: No. X: Why are you acting like this? You put those balloons on the garage to make me angry! (he seemed really bothered by the balloons I put up for my divorce party which spelled 'happily ever after') Me: Nothing I do has anything to do with you. X: You screamed at me in the street saying I was a cheater! Me: I didn't scream. I confronted you when I found out. That was one occasion and I haven't spoken to you in person since. I don't care any more. X: You've been spreading stories about me, I've never done anything to you! Me: I tell people things that have actually occurred. If you didn't want to be called a cheater, you shouldn't have cheated. X: *sputters* Me: I'd appreciate it if you stopped telling people that I prevent you from seeing S2 because I have always been accommodating of any requests unless I have prior plans. X: *sarcastic laughter* Me: It's all documented via email so I'd be happy to provide receipts. X: Well, you never respond to my emails! Or my texts! Me: If you need to discuss childcare, I respond. I don't want unnecessary contact with you because you are verbally abusive. X: Oh, and you screaming that I'm a cheater isn't abusive? Me: Telling the truth is not abusive. I didn't scream. You had an affair and abandoned your family. Those are facts. X: You've got a tone and an attitude that I don't like. I guess we'll handle this in court. Me: That's what I've been trying to do, but you stopped participating in the process. I agreed to increased time in February and you stopped responding. X: *sputters* Me: It's an ongoing negotiation, not all or nothing. X: I want everything laid out - shared care, holidays, schooling. Me: Yes, that's what I want. You are the one preventing this from happening. Pulling a stunt like this is not the way to come to a mutual agreement. X: I have to take him otherwise you'd never let me see him! Me: What you have done is not acceptable and there will be consequences. X: Oh yeah, you're threatening me now? Me: You are not above the rules. This is how the legal process works. X: Well, I don't want to have this conversation anymore. Me: Just curious. Did you have any thought for how worried I might be overnight? X: Do you have any thought for how unfair it is that I can't see my son? Me: Okay, I'm done. What time will S2 be back? X: Are you not capable of looking up X town on Google Maps and figuring that out yourself? Me: It is your responsibility to communicate. If the plan changes, you are responsible for informing me. You have a history of being unreliable and it's not my job to chase you up. Do the right thing. X: No, YOU do the right thing. Me: *shaking my head at this nonsense* X: I will be back at 12:05pm. *sarcastically* Do I need to call you if I am one minute late? Me: Now you're taking the piss. Yes, you do need to inform me if you're late. That is common courtesy.
At this point my lawyer called me so I said I had to go.
Did I need to engage in that conversation? No. But I don't regret it.
