Separated 11 wks, WAH wants to reconcile (part 4)

[LH19]

PM99,

Before I forget can you add a signature like mine?

He wants us to have a nice long weekend together.

Ok so have a nice weekend and be upbeat and positive and mirror his actions.

I don't know how much of a factor his depression is and if that is related to us.

I'm sure it's a least a small factor in it.

But none of those change the fundamental issue that we have been going round in circles over for the last 18 months.

Exactly

I know he is asking for more time, but I don't know how much longer I can wait, because I do know that I want and deserve more and I told him this today.

Ok this is where you contradict yourself. If you love him and believe this is due to depression why not give him time?

And he agreed and got upset that I deserve more than he is giving me.

This to me is WW BS. It's like the George Constaza "it's not you it's me bit" because he is too much of a coward to tell you the truth.

I don't actually think he is going to walk anytime soon so I don't really understand why I am in my own turmoil right now, and can't sit with this and shut up and see what pans out over the next few weeks of MC.

I keep asking you PM99. What are you afraid of and you won't answer me.

It's so hard being his 'best friend' when I want so much more. And what he described he wanted to feel at MC yesterday really hurts - I would love to be on the receiving end of those feelings, and that passion that he wants to feel and give.

You certainly can and should be just maybe not with your H.

He did open the cage door, he left and he came back. I am his comfort and security, when I'm not there, he has a deep need for me (his words).

Sounds like you are more his Mommy then his W.

I have told him he is free to leave.

Did you really think you could prevent him from staying?

Perhaps you are right re the Covid thing - I don't know what would've happened with EAP had he not been unable to travel away every week.

What does your gut tell you?

Sometimes I do feel that the kindest thing would be to let him go. But I just cant do that right now - it's not what I want.

So is this all about what you want? And what do you want?