Finding calm during the storm

[Kindly]

Thanks so much Sage4 and Cardinal,

Imagine what kind of head space one would have to be in to install cameras and sneak around in the dark of their own home. Paranoid? Suspicious? Scared? Delusional? I could add to this list, but all the adjectives point to being mentally very unhealthy.

Sage, I’ve been reading your input on others pages and am really taking something away from it...I think the backpack analogy and Dharma was you...love how this site makes me think and look at different perspectives. Thank you for being here...although under crappy circumstances.

The above is very true and still makes me so sad to think of how lost he is.

((Kindly)) How are things with you lately? Did you decide to go for your backyard get-together?.

Cardinal, thx for asking. Things have been very very quiet with H hiding, ignoring, working until I had my backyard get together. (I detailed more on my previous page right before this new link) ...he verbally went off the next morning and accused me of all kinds of wrong doings and stated that the house is going up on the market next month. Keep in mind everything is at a complete standstill with the L’s and there is still no FA.....I started to reason with him but quickly stopped when I realized what I was doing and ended with “do whatever you gotta do” and walked away.

Just as the LBS's path isn't straight, neither is theirs, although I would guess their path has even more loops, because most of the time they can't even see the path they're on clearly.

I am very aware of this now...just how unclear they are. When you strip it right down (in my case anyway) who goes to such great lengths to “flip the tables”, “travel more”, “be happy”, “make decisions” and then proceeds to stay in the basement splitting their time between work, video games and working out? Especially when they have the $ means to leave? Then the first time I do something for me (safely having 4 people over) ....they loose their mind?? Speaks volumes to me. This from someone who wants to keep things out of court and do everything amicably?? It’s been pointed out many times on here...their actions speak louder than words cause the words are an ever changing jumbled mess.

I guess what I’m struggling with a little bit right now, is why do MLCers want something SOOOO bad (be it to move out, divorce, sell the house) and then do nothing to achieve those “wants”? I know some do leave right away, but for the ones that don’t I would think that “negative pressure” they feel would constantly be there regardless of what I’m doing or saying ....

K,