I think he thinks there is something better out there and doesn't want to put in the hard work. I think his single life got detoured when Covid hit and he got scared when you were talking with the other guy that his plan B was in jeopardy.
That's why you can not show your insecurities. For reconciliation to be possible you need to be on even playing fields. For a relationship to truly work you have to be willing to walk if your needs are not being met. He has to be on trial now too. The problem with most relationships are that both or one persons needs are not being met. You are willing to sacrifice all your needs because you are afraid to lose him. It can't be that way or you will eventually become very resentful.
If he feels there is something better then I don’t know why he is still here, is still deliberating over what he wants. He is still telling me he is committed and wants to focus on the positives and stop overthinking the negatives (as per advice from MC). I just don’t feel good right now. And I’m over-analysing EVERYTHING!
Today he asked if I was still talking to OM. I said no why, and he suggested I could. I asked why and he said maybe to get a different perspective on things. I said I hadn’t had those kinds of conversations with him, about my marriage problems. I’m really upset that he’s encouraging me to talk to another man about my marriage. Wtf is that all about? Unless the question was really to find out if I was still talking to OM?
M:49 H:49 T:20 M:18 D:16 D:14
EA: Feb 2019-May 2020 Separated: Mar-early Aug 2020 H asked to reconcile: Jun 2020 EA relapse: Oct/Nov 2020 Recon #2: since Nov 2020
