As I've said before I was standing for my marriage. If he wants the D - that's on him. I cannot stop him but I don't have to help him. The best I can currently muster is to live my own life not pushing one way or the other but certainly leaving him out of the current equation.
KK it's fine I get it. You are on the other side of 50 and are afraid of being alone. I get it. I was too. I just want you to see it for what it is all about. The loss of stability and control. It's not about love and it never is because if it was true, mutual respect and love between two people you wouldn't be here.
You are not going to leave any stone unturned because that has worked for you in the past in everything you do in life. For G sakes you put your mind to it and dropped 30 pounds because your STBXH called you fat.
People love linear systems and immediate feedback -- I press the lever and I get a pellet. I can understand that.
Relationships aren't that simple. If you weren't meeting his needs, chances are he wasn't meeting your needs either, and the reasons for that are many and varied. A relationship is an equilibrium between two personalities, and its state is a reflection of both contributions to it.
After the bomb drops we can do everything to try to stop the run away train but when the dust settles the reality is simple.
