You called him a liar. Good. But he is still a cheating liar. And you still get worked up over what he says (or doesn't say) and does (or doesn't do). Until you can act "as if" no matter what he says or does you will continue to struggle.
Again, I pray for nothing else but healing for you. I think you know how many of us think your best way to do that, but that is another piece of advice you dismiss.
I realize I still have a lot of emotional skin in the game for sure.
Do I need to come here and vent and get angry and get it out - absolutely. Have I taken the steps where I stop reacting to him directly --- oh yes... You may see me come here a complete basketcase and/or doing a mini rage but does he see that or know that??? No, right now he is just getting silence.
I've been silent with him before... he texts... he texts some more... then he has some stupid reason to call and I answer. But, he asked to talk to me the other day - I imagine it was because he got caught in his own lie/snooping and frankly I said "no". And, I didn't engage.
I'm making progress. Maybe not on the same timeline that you did... but I'm chugging along.
I want nothing more than to drop the rope. I'm getting there.
