You are probably not wrong PLC. I remember having similar thoughts about my H during the thick of it. He had lied to so many people and had been doing it for so long... it must have been very lonely. No wonder he clung onto OW like a life preserver...that’s exactly what she was and, I suppose, continues to be. But...at the end of the day, you need to keep the focus on you and on creating a life that does not include him. It’s the only way forward as much as I know it isn’t what you want. I didn’t want it either. I felt like the people on this forum almost dragged me towards it at times because I definitely fought it. But over time, I realized that I didn’t NEED him to be okay. I needed me...whole and healed. It is a hard, hard road...no doubt. But when you get to the end of it, you will look back and be so happy it was the one you took.
Your beach idea sounds wonderful. Enjoy. (((HUGS)))
