The first thing you need to do is not give a $hit about what she does or says. You seem overly concerned about "bursting her bubble", That shouldn't be your goal. Your goal is to focus on you and your kids. Live the best life possible for you and your kids. She shouldn't even be a thought. That's how you burst the bubble. It won't happen until you're completely detached and don't care whether her bubble bursts or not. Seeing you being happy and successful without her is going to drive her nuts...
mtb1981,
I have been trying to do this. It's very difficult dealing with a full blown wayward. I was trying to burst the bubble to "wake her up" but it seems she has a heart of stone. She told me she doesn't care what people think of her and she surrounds herself with friends and family who agree with and support her choices.
