EDIT: I also think this is why you cannot bring yourself to type the words: he is a lying cheater. I think you believe deep down, that it is fixable....... If you can put all the blame on yourself (*I drove him into the OW's arms!") then it is something that can be fixed ("I have reversed the behaviors that drove him to this!"). But to admit that he is a lying cheater is to admit that he is fundamentally flawed and therefore the hope for reconciliation is almost NIL due to that.
Peace.
I thought I referred to him several times today as a liar.... or that he has been lying.... I don't think I painted him in any kind of great light today??? I thought I said very strongly I was over his elaborate lies.