WW post D (Thanks BenB part 4)

[sandi2]

I guess it depends on the definition of Wayward.

The definition speaks for itself. Look it up.

Lately my W has shown much more kindness and awareness of everything.

Here's a little test you can use to see if your W is still wayward. Just cross her. See how quickly her "kindness" changes.

When everything is going to her liking, it's not that difficult for her to play at kindness. The minute you throw a monkey wrench into her plans........you'll see the person she really is. Didn't you see that happen when she learned you would be staying in the house?

However, as I said she is very juvenile and in a way that is my fault.
I did ALL of the grown up things in our time together. ALL of it!
She is in for an enormous amount of life lessons...

This is why I have a problem with H's spoiling their W's by doing all "the grown up things". I think some men see it as a way of demonstrating their love. Maybe some men like to feel their W is totally dependent on them, IDK. I just know it is very bad for the MR....... and it's bad for the woman. I hope you will not repeat this behavior/action in the future. ((hugs))

But back to waywardness.
When thinking about if I guess you could put it on a scale.
May be my W is a 1 or a 2 out of 5.

I'm wondering if this is case where it depends on your definition of waywardness. There have been many LBH's fooled into thinking their WW had changed, when in reality, it was more about what the LHB wanted desperately to see in her. They would mistakenly base it on how much nicer the WW was treating them. Those nice ways may eventually come, if she's really working on heart, but please don't base the whole idea of "she is no longer wayward" on it.

Still driven strongly by her rush, but she HAS realized her behavior has consequences and she is aware. I see it.

By rush, do you mean her addiction to the high the affair gives her?

I'm glad she is aware of her behavior has consequences. Hopefully, the consequences will be heavy enough to change her course. However, one of the descriptions of waywardness is willful rebellion. So, even if she sees the consequences, she may choose to continue going down her wayward path. Unfortunately, I remember a couple of cases where things got really bad for the WW and it still did not turn her around......at the time of the last posting of the LBH's. I would love to know if anything changed later, but we usually don't hear back from people who stop posting. Anyway, I mainly wanted to say that a WW will decide if the consequences are worth what the choices she makes. In other words, if she faces consequences for an affair, she'll decide if it's worth these consequences to continue contacting OM, or not. What looks like heavy consequences to you, may not be the one that makes the difference for her. Since being on the board, I've read some wild stories where WW's would leave their babies behind, so they could continue an affair. Mind blowing!

She is prioritizing the kids more as well.

Really glad to hear this ^^^^^^. Do you prompt her, or is this prioritizing all on her own?

Though, while reading through other sitches I realize I haven't gotten that much of the verbal attack. Not much at all.
So maybe her waywardness is still there. She's just realized she can do it without me seeing it.

Some WW's are more verbally vicious than others. A WW can change, if she wants to change. I don't think it looks quiet like the LBH thinks it will look.......but it can be done.

For the kids though I really wish she owns her s**t and continues to get it together.

I do too, Mumin. Not only for the children's sake, but for her own sake, as well.

Take care. ((hugs))