I don't seem to do a thing right when it comes to saving my M. That shipped has sailed too I suppose.
Well KK in all honesty I have been trying to tell you that if you were trying to recon that you were in a 2-5 year waiting game. Your goal was to wish him well and go live your life to the fullest. We had suggested IC for sure for you because although I am not a therapist I have lived with and done lots of research on narcissist and you at minimum have narc tendencies. You are still trying to control the situation and your STBXH. The fact you still have a shared calendar completely blows my mind. Your goal right now is to make him less resentful and miss you. That can not possibly happened with you in his business. He is not divorcing you because of a long work communicate. He is divorcing you because he is not happy and believes he can be happier without you. It's really that simple. If you want to stand then you have to play the waiting game and see whether he is happier without you. You believe that he will be that is why you are holding on so tight.
You have been given great advice since day one in which you have chosen to ignore most of it. You are digging yourself a hole that you do not have a big enough shovel to dig yourself out of.
I stopped using the shared calendar some time ago. I'm completely private.
You are right - he is still resentful.
He made some comment when he asked to call me this weekend.... it was in regards that I would not let his parents come to help him move out of the M home. Personally, I felt it was a very private matter... I wasn't dragging my parents into it. And, his dad has SERIOUS heart trouble and has been in hospital with DNR a few times... so he shouldn't have been involved at all.
There was never an argument. I was quiet and let him lead with what he needed to accomplish but he would just sit there so I would make a suggestion to get it going. I did the heavy lifting... I was up in a hot nasty attic carrying things down. I never complained. He grossly underestimated how much he could fit in his truck at one time so yes it took about 4 trips to get all of his items... and somehow he is resentful it took 4 times of loading his truck up? He forgot his boat keys and I made sure to get them to him... but you are right... here we are 3 months after he has his house and he is resentful...
And, you are correct... he hated the commute and thinking i would never leave this home so he was terribly unhappy and he believes he can be happier elsewhere. I hear you.
