Hang in there Hope. I know you are feeling pretty beat up lately. Who wouldn’t? Be kind to yourself. Know that you are not alone and that this, too, shall pass.
That sux that the gf is so close and you have to see his truck out front of her place. Not much I can say except that it absolutely hurt less over time. The man dating that girl is not the man you were married to. It just isn’t. That guy is gone.
In my sitch my XH moved in with someone before he left our home and I remember what a betrayal and slap in the face that was. However, I also know that it definitely helped me to move on quicker because it extinguished whatever little bit of hope I had that we could rebuild one day. Recently, I thought about what I would do if he suddenly showed up at my door telling me it was all an awful mistake and begged my forgiveness. The answer was pretty simple. I would politely thank him for the apology, decline his invitation and wish him well. That ship has definitely sailed and there is a lot of freedom in that. You will get there too...I promise. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and dealing with the things you have to in the moment. It will get easier. Focus on what you have and not what you don’t have. Reach out to friends and family. Keep posting and let us support you.
BTW...I’m fortunate because my kids are older than your D but I remember how broken up I was at the idea of having to give up 50% of my time with them. I hated it. The first few times they went with him, I was devastated and would spend the time feeling cheated and resentful until they returned home. Eventually, however, I started to appreciate having some time to do my own thing. I knew they were being cared for and I could FaceTime them whenever I wanted (that was a deal me and XH made...he is free to do the same thing when they are with me) and they could do the same. Now that we’ve been doing this for about 18 months, it is just the routine. My kids are okay and so am I. And I think they are especially okay because they know I am. That’s really important. Giving them the message that we are okay so when they think of us, they think of us as happy and managing well. I did not want my kids to think that I was at home feeling sad and missing them because they would only feel the same way in return and I don’t want that. I want them to be happy when they are with their dad just as I want them to be happy when they are with me. So you have to fake it until you make it unfortunately.
