Hope, I am so sorry to read that you are feeling alone right now. It is totally understandable given what you are going through and you are certainly among others who feel the same way right now, both on this board and in the world at large. ((((Hope))))
Have you spoken to your doctor or a mental health professional about your feelings? You don’t have to suffer these feelings alone and your doctor may be able to provide some additional tools or suggestions to help you navigate this season of your life. Pulling my doctor in the loop of my situation was one of the best decisions I made.