i'm glad your friend's farm and the animals were spared. I have friends who are like family to me who are now traveling out of state due to evacuation.

As far as leaving the area - don't make any hasty decisions right now. Try to keep it as simple as you can. Don't plan more than a week out. Get as much rest as you can. Get as much exercise as possible. Focus on your immediate needs and base your goals on the core values you've identified for yourself. Most of that Job taught me. The last one I learned on my own.

Protecting yourself is not an option - it's self care. Imagine any other person in the world treating you as your H is currently. What would be your response - as you stated, avoidance. You're being polite. You're being respectful. If you can behave in a manner that is congruent with your core values, that is all anyone can ask of you. If it's not good enough for someone who has already said they are leaving you, then too bad for him.

Honestly my dear, I wish I'd known more when I was in your shoes. I would have practiced metta even more deeply, and ho'onoponopono as well, because both kept and continue to keep me sane. More. Focus. On. You. All. Focus. On. You.

Does any of that make sense?

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver