Thanks U. It’s nice to hear from someone in a similar spot with a similar outlook. Not trying to save the M, just navigating the business side of the R for the sake of the children. I like your distinction between limiting discord vs upsetting the X. It is hard to get out of that mindset when you have been the peacemaker in your old dynamic.
I emailed with a short message informing of the payment in arrears and that I’d be changing the arrangement. No response, but the next payment was the correct amount. The outstanding amount hasn’t been paid, though, which I’ll let the agency handle from here.
He then emailed requesting another adhoc sleepover to make up for the missed visit two weeks ago. The time has definitely passed for that, I think. It doesn’t suit me or S2, and I don’t want to set a precedent of changing the parenting plan to suit X. So that one is a no. He also asked to extend his Father’s Day visit to include an overnight sleepover, which I am happy to do for the special occasion. (Leaving my opinion of X as a father out of it and thinking purely of S2).
If he wants to modify the plan to include sleepovers, I am happy to return to negotiations for that. Otherwise, I’d prefer to stick to the current plan. That was my L’s advice and I think it’s fair and better for S2 to have that stability.
