Glad to hear you're working through the guilt. Always remember- you were responsible for 50 percent of the MR. Thats the maximum you are allowed to blame yourself. My inkling is that instead, you had faults just like the rest of us. You were human. Making mistakes is normal. Please don't beat yourself up on that front.
On forgiveness - it is a decision we make. It is also a journey, not a destination. There will be good days and bad days. There will be days where we feel like we hate the other person, others where we reminisce fondly of the time we spent together.
We decide to forgive - even if the other person is behaving horribly. Not because we are a doormat, not because we are a loser, but because it is the right thing to do. Whether the other party ever realizes it is not up to us.
