You are certainly not alone and I find our situations have some parallels. The one thing that I found That has significantly helped me “continue for me” and drop the rope a little more when it comes to thinking about H and what he’s doing is:
1. Realizing and coming to terms with the fact that this person right now is a stranger and not someone I particularly want in my life in their current state. I can still hold out hope for that changing...
2. Realizing that I don’t have to make any epic decisions right now....I can just be. Focus the best I can on me and what gets me back on my feet....maybe it’s gardening, a hobby of some sort, family or friends from a safe distance, signing up for an online class...Something that makes you feel like you and takes the focus off of him and his comings and goings. This continues to be a big trigger for me every time the garage door opens and closes....I fight the urge to run to the window ....
It’s not easy but we got this! One step at a time and by letting ourselves off the hook when we need to show ourselves compassion.
