New situations to handle seem to come up almost every day, right?
To limit the impact to my well-being, I've tried to make decisions according to a simple rule: "Do I need to stand up for myself here, and if so, how can I limit the discord?"
When I think about limiting discord, I'm not trying to avoid upsetting my X. That is unavoidable - not within my control. I do try to consider the reasonable options at my disposal to achieve my end goal.
Regarding the money issue, I wonder if you can send your X a message and say (paraphrasing): "FYI I changed the arrangement with the agency so they will handle future payment issues." Then you can change it, you don't have to chase him for money, but you also notified him of the change.
I like how you handled the cancellation and lie.
Just to be clear, I'm not trying to give advice. I'm still learning how to navigate a toxic X relationship while trying to coparent, and trying to figure out what works, including learning from others.
