Core... I think it is good you still have a fondness for your W. Despite everything, I, too, feel like I have a fondness for my XH too... I don’t love him the way I used to. That ship has sailed and is barely visible on the horizon. But I do genuinely want him to have a decent life and I think that is a good thing. Particularly for our kids who need to know that I don’t hate their dad. Frees them up to love him and anyone else associated with his new life.
Keep moving forward. A year from now you will look back and be glad that you did. (((HUGS)))
