[Georgiabelle]

Thanks for reading. I’m just going to admit I’ve come to whine for a minute. I’m sorry. I hate doing it but I need to..

So, I’m doing a bit better with ex Mr. GB and his wife having a kid. Honestly, I know it will be weird, however, I generally try not to think of him. We are friendly and I’m grateful that I’m a mother as a result of my time with him. However well ..Apparently the new wife “switched up on him.” She had never been married before and had moved across the country a number of times for a variety of relationships. She was really laid-back when they were dating and I think she’s a bit high strung now. She yells at him and tells him what he will and won’t do. This was told to me by him and the kids. I didn’t ask. I did smile. Is that bad? They make lots of money and I do struggle with that thinking that he rarely worked with me and that somehow we didn’t warrant him to support his family. I know. I know. I’ve got to push that aside. I admit it. And I try to be nice to everyone. But some days I just want him to be miserable. Swing the 2x4 hard at moi!

So my daughter “dates” a friend’s son. We’ve known each other for several years and talked to each other a lot when going through our respective divorces. They live a few hours away and essentially talk on the phone 5 hours a day. Ah to be a teenager. :-). Anyways, the dad is my dream guy. My kids say he’s a taller, better looking Tom Brady. We’ve been friends for years. He is a fitness model (yes, as a reminder I’m a cliche) and designer. He’s ridiculously hot, nerdy, funny and a great dad. However, he had a gf for many years. I knew her. While pleasant to me, I didn’t think they would go the distance. They broke up earlier this year. We really click and he’s only a couple of years younger. Of course, he isn’t going to be available long and when I visited in late May he was semi dating this woman he has worked with for years. Long story short. They visited. We had beverages and we kind of kissed (he had to semi participate cause he’s a foot taller than me) and said he was attracted, wasn’t rejecting me (but I mean he was which I get because they are actually in a R versus just dating) to me but the woman was now his gf. I would say I felt guilty but I didn’t really know. And honestly at least I go to my deathbed saying I got that close to him :-). Sigh. Universe is killing me. Honestly, I’m
Not surprised. I don’t have luck like that. Anyway, we had so much fun on their visit. If only he was single. But he’s not. And he’s not going to be. This is a bitter pill to swallow but it’s par for the course.

I’m lonely. I’ve seen the ex bf a couple of times and will see him Sunday for a bit. Not sure how I would meet someone. Gah. I’m just ready. However, I understand just because I’m ready doesn’t mean it’s my time. What I’m really hoping is that I just decide being by myself is better. I really don’t know how much “dating” I have left in me. Would be nice to find someone. Not sure that’s in the cards.

Hope everyone is heathy and well.