Sage, I second Scout on this. He is gaslighting you and there is zero reason for you to listen or care.
Quote
I know that H wants deep down to be friends and have an amicable split where we can spend time together as a family, but that is not possible for me when everything I say and do is construed and constructed to build his narrative of what a wicked person I am.
It is hard to not take that to heart. I want to be open to growth and learning opportunities in this process, I also want to validate and leave some space for us to be good in the future. But I can't control his narrative and that narrative is destroying my self-esteem and self-worth.
Gently, I wonder... why do you care if deep down he wants to be friends and have an amicable split where you can spend time together as a family? Is this what you want? Especially with someone who is treating you the way he is? Maybe at some point in the future he will be the kind of human being you want to spend time with, again. But it sure doesn't sound like he is that person right now and I am just wondering why you want to subject yourself to it.
It seems to me that going NC/grey rock will not only protect you and give you the space and ability to heal-- and protect your own self-esteem and self-worth-- but also honestly protect the possibility of being friendly in the future. It seems like these toxic interactions could really poison your potential future amicable relationship. Can you move your necessary conversations to email?
(((SAGE)))
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
