Yes, I am still operating from a place of fear...fear that he wishes he had never come back, fear that he wants to leave but cant because of the devastation it will cause, fear that MC will not fix this, fear that he is just ticking boxes. I guess I could find 100 reasons why his behaviours might not be genuine. I think I need to let go of that don't I, and focus on the fact he might actually want M v2.0. Sometimes I feel like I have lived with this situation for so long (18 months), I don't even know what it feels like to feel 'normal' anymore. It's like I don't know how to sit back and relax and just 'be'.
Never Ever Ever is fear the place to operate from because it makes people needy and desperate. That is why it is so important to work on yourself to become a person only a fool would leave. If you were at that place you wouldn't care whether he stayed or left. Then everything you did would come from a peaceful state which in turn makes you very attractive. I say this all the time that Hollywood and Disney would like you to believe that love conquers all when relationships are more about economics then love. When he thought he was going to lose you to the OM he got interested again. Scarcity creates value. Before anyone else is going to see your value you have to know what it is first.
Do you know when you are 100% most likely to reconcile effectively?
When you no longer care if you do or not.
That's the honest and sad truth. Reconciliation requires a level playing field, an even starting line. BOTH of you need to be willing to walk and to believe the other one will leave. That makes you something worth having (value).
Originally Posted by Pommy99
I know you are right LH, I know I need to accept that he is simply being honest. He also said he was being honest when he wanted to come back and said he loved me, was in love with me, wanted us to grow old together, could see us being an intimate couple again. This "I cant promise anything" is new and makes everything feel so fragile.
PM99 there are not guarantees in life accept you will pay taxes and you will die someday. Right now you are in a waiting game to find out his true intentions. Now you can stay in the fetal position hoping and praying that you work this out or you can start to live your best life and if he wants to be a part of it great and if he doesn't that's ok too.
