I know you are receiving some very blunt, but good advice. It can be hard to hear but its accurate.
But I also want to offer some encouragement - you're going to survive this. You're going to be happy again, with or without your H. You will find love again and I suspect (if you work on yourself), it will be with a man that cherishes you and has no tendencies to have affairs.
One day you will look back on this period in your life and smile. Why smile? Because your H did you a favor, he showed his true colors. Wouldn't you rather go through life being able to trust your partner? Wouldn't you rather be with a man that doesn't blame all his unhappiness on you? Side note, I know lots of people with a long commute and long work hours that don't have affairs, ever.
