Point of no return

[ovrrnbw]

Hi,

I'm 44 and feel like there will.be no future relationship.

Thanks for the continued input - it all makes perfect sense in the rational brain but the illogical mind always takes over. The psychologist I just spoke to briefly reiterated your advice.

I'm just finding it so difficult to function right now and just need to sound off. The problem is my wife was my main connection, so doubly difficult to break free.

I still struggle to get my head around her with someone else, even though it will continue regardless if what we both say. She has had an opportunity to put it on hold and hasn't taken it, so yes I need to recognise she is gone and isn't coming back.

So so hard.

"Feels like"... my goodness there is a phrase I do not like.

You get to decide and create your feelings. It starts with your attitude, goes to your thoughts and actions, and based off of your own internal discourse you decide to "feel something". I would analyze these little stories you are telling yourself and fight to not overindulge them.

Do you want to be your own enemy? Or will you push yourself in the right direction?

You called your W last night? Man oh man....actions speak louder than words. You need to "act as if". Act as if life is going great, act as if she is not your woman anymore. She's out with other men and you've been separated for some time. It seems tough, but it can be easier if you choose that.

I think based on how long your situation has been going on that you should have a higher level of detachment. I have told myself every day for over 2 years that my marriage could end any day. I try to tell myself that my life could end any day. Accept this reality and set priorities based off of that.

There are positives to being single, you just choose not to look at them. Some other lady is already giving you compliments but you're moping around over the one chick who doesn't want you? Say what? If one lady says 10 more think it.

I see myself in you, that's why I keep posting. And I see you have a lot of potential to turn around yourself and your sitch.