You know for a long time I did let my happiness hinge on my marriage. It was all I had. I didn't have much else other than work...and that isn't a healthy lifestyle. I felt like such a failure; I didn't want to tell anyone, I wanted to hide in my bed all day, and most of all I just wanted to fix it. It took me a good while to come to the realization that I couldn't fix it. I am soooooo good at fixing things...but a marriage isn't a 'thing' I could fix...because I didn't break it.
I certainly contributed to the breakdown...I was an awful communicator and I never asked for what I wanted. I failed to live in the moment; instead always focused on the future or the past and trying to prevent future failures of anything and everything. So many things I have taken from the experience and the loss that I will apply going forward. Most importantly I am starting to repair friendships that disappeared over the years; that has been really good for me to know that those folks aren't judging me and are happy to know that I am ok.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
