It's ok to be scared but fear drives people to make big mistakes.
Yes... and that is why I trying to find 50 other things to do. I don't want to make a mistake because I'm being driven by anxeity/fear. I don't want to end up sending him some dumb text.
Originally Posted by KitCat
Will this get ugly?
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Maybe or maybe not. Who really cares.
I hate ugly. It kills my soul.
Originally Posted by KitCat
I hate hearing from him.... I want to hear from him...
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You want to hear from him when he doesn't want something and that's never and most likely always be never
He actually asks in texts questions about why I was going to be busy today... then he actually said he was sorry about what my day was about and then continued to ask questions in regards to that.
I hate when he opens up dialogue... it just makes me miss the friend I once had in him.
I did not ask a single thing about him today. I just pinned him down to Sunday for the paperwork.
Originally Posted by KitCat
Frankly, he has pulled away WAY more in the last 2 months. He is settling into his new life and he is less scared and second guessing his decisions way less as well. He is finding his happiness and I hate how that drives me to be more needy.
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Illusion of action. I'm losing him I need to do something. 99.9% experience this which ends up making matters worse.
I get that. Its a knee jerk reaction. Again, I need to keep busy doing something and not do something stupid due to anxiety. I'm being quite driven by my gut to say what can we do differently. But, that is me chasing and being pathetic. Deep breathing. Maybe I need to work more at mediation - which I really s*ck at.
Originally Posted by KitCat
I don't need his approval. I don't need his support. But, I miss our old life.
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Again, KK your old life sounded pretty crappy. I bet your are way happier a year from now.
It was a marriage with ups and downs for sure. But there were some really wonderful times - and I meant it when I said for better or worse. Having been in a working partnership for 27yr where there were some serious bad times... I know that sticking it out can really pay off so I wouldn't have bailed.
I think that's why I want to ask him about doing with workshop with me. I know I know I know. Everyone here says its a bad idea. I just want to feel that I gave it my very best - even in the face of adversity I gave 100%.
I know - whats the rush. Give it a good nights rest and get to the weekend. Walk away. Walk away. Walk away.
