Hi everyone, it's been a while! Thanks for your thoughts I think my last post was a bit emotional and scattered, I think that I was unprepared for seeing just what a terrible state H's mind is in. I had a chat with the neighbour there who described him as deeply, deeply depressed and also drinking far too much. I feel so bad for him, though also secretly glad that it no longer impacts my life too much. Still, it was hard to face the pain he must be in, and how much pain he has had to hide for so long. I was surprisingly ok about the kids being away with H, they said it was not much fun and H was in a bad place and drank a lot, but I suppose they're used to that. I think they did have a couple of fun days.
Back to the far more important topic of my life! Ds1 got great exam results and is off to an amazing uni. So happy for him, he worked so hard. I will miss him a lot and so will ds2, but he will still be home plenty. H came over with his puppy to go out to lunch to celebrate. We had to go to a pub because of the puppy and there was only one pub open locally on weekdays doing lunch which had a garden, and H spent the whole time whining about his food and other complaints. Ugh. You'd think he could put his misery aside for an hour to celebrate ds1's special day...
My new man is really great, we had a 3rd date at the weekend and I spent 12 hours at his place (the kids don't wake up till late afternoon so they barely noticed I was gone, lol) The more time I spend with him the more I like him. We text each other a lot every day, it's nice to have someone to share mundane stuff of life with after years living with someone who couldn't care less about any aspect of my life. I can see this relationship lasting, albeit we won't get to spend a huge amount of time together as he has his kids every other weekend, but they are teens so won't be around forever. Just happy to see him whenever and enjoy the time we spend together, he is keen to do stuff I'm interested in and to go out places and do new things The sex has got better too So my life is busy and happy and full, and my new man is the cherry on top of all that. Life is good! I have one part time job starting in a month or so and an interview today for another one, so those will keep me busy too. My art classes are hopefully restarting in September, cross fingers. I have had some lovely days out and runs with friends recently. I was sad to cancel my holiday with the kids, but maybe we can have a few nights camping before school resumes. If not, I'll just drag them to the pub to eat and restaurants and stuff and enjoy being out with them now being out is possible again! I feel like I'm in a good place, and moving forward with my life. The D stuff is going to start in October now as H is away all September. I hope he behaves well, I would like it to be amicable if possible. I'll be happy to accommodate H seeing the kids as much as he wants to, and to spend time together in a friendly way. I don't feel bitterness (most of the time) just sadness really. But also excitement about my life being amazing and rewarding and full of potential for the future!
I think my last post was a bit emotional and scattered, I think that I was unprepared for seeing just what a terrible state H's mind is in. I had a chat with the neighbour there who described him as deeply, deeply depressed and also drinking far too much. I feel so bad for him, though also secretly glad that it no longer impacts my life too much. Still, it was hard to face the pain he must be in, and how much pain he has had to hide for so long. I was surprisingly ok about the kids being away with H, they said it was not much fun and H was in a bad place and drank a lot, but I suppose they're used to that. I think they did have a couple of fun days.