Self-soothing - does it require lotion?

[NotATLDave]

I think it's better to show the kids that you can work through issues in a loving way and not sacrifice your sense of self or integrity in the process. I would hate to think that my daughter would blindly follow the whims of a spouse out of fear that he would leave her. "Unconditional love" and "fruitless giving" should only be applied to children...otherwise, it sounds too hollywood. Well, let me revise that statement...Loving and giving should be a joy and I cannot see how giving to someone who exhibits behaviors counter to your integrity and to the detriment of a relationship could be joyful. It sounds masochistic to engage in that without adequately standing up for what you expect and want in your relationship.