Light at the end of the tunnel

[LB55]

I hear you loud and clear on feeling the need to defend yourself. I felt like had to do the same for almost 19 months. Its definitely tough on a day to day and it sounds like you're doing a good job of handling it. Just know that it likely won't stop until those final papers are signed. I probably spent $50k on attorneys, psychiatrists, alcohol counselors...all to prove that I didn't have the problems I was accused of. After those initial accusations then it was always something new...but in the end it was all about money. I ONLY did what the judge/court/my attorney recommended though. If the judge didn't think I needed to do anything then I didn't do anything. There were plenty of accusations that were clearly unfounded and he just let them go without any required action from me. My attorney also recommended to me when to act and when to just let it go. It took me a while to let go of my need to respond to everything for fear of losing the kids.

My XW also had a friend in her ear that had a violent ex...like pulling trees out of the yard with his truck at 2am and all sorts of things. Unfortunately she believed that I was capable of acting like that...no matter the proof otherwise.

Mine didn't want me to have any decision making capability for the kids at all...healthcare, school, legal, or anything else. But because I went through the pains of getting all those appointments done and had all the paperwork...in the end she knew she didn't have a leg to stand on and she relented. We have joint decision making on everything and if we disagree then it gets settled via the legal process and mediation.

I feel for you brother...this is a tough thing to go through for anyone. I hope you're able to get some resolution and finality...in the meantime keep controlling what you can...your actions, reactions, and emotions. I say that multiple times a day even now that I am done with all of that.

I read somewhere that 95% of all cases settle without going to court. I thought for sure i was going to be one of the 5% but we wound up settling in the end. I hope you can achieve a deal you're happy with and be able to move forward from this soon. In the meantime be the best dad you can be and be the best man you can be...its all you can do.