Thanks - expected the feedback received. Yes do need to drop the nice guy bit but its not natural.
My underlying challenge is that if you are playing it distant, some other party is going to be doing the exact opposite. Doesn't this create a void for them to fill, why would she become the pursuer when she can be pursued by someone else, someone new.
My daughter rang earlier (whilst with her mum) saying that mum couldn't sleep last night and came into her room to lie next to her on bed. I'm guessing but it seems my wife may have things on her mind - feels wrong if I'm distant and someone else isn't, that she will know where she can get her emotional support from.
Difficult day for me today - my daughter has gone to a friend's for a sleepover, so wife is free all afternoon until tomorrow morning. You can appreciate what is going through my mind and the temptation to drive past later to see if she is at home! Will need to fight this.
