Just to add so that you can advise on whether I have responded correctly or not.
Just had a couple of text messages from my wife (missed the first one, hence her second:
1. "Well done with the weight loss, you looked like a different person today. Even [daughter] said she had to do a double take!!"
2. "I assume your choosing to not reply on purpose based on your previous note [Saturday]...sorry, just thought you might welcome the compliment "
I've responded (and you can perhaps correct me and tell me I should have waited):
"No sorry, missed your earlier text. Thanks for the compliment. Doing well on that aspect of my journey and getting self confidence back, a little work to do in other areas but thanks".
She has just responded but I won't reply (as tempting as it is):
"Missed my text!! Good work anyway, apparently [wife's friend who I bumped into on Saturday] couldn't stop singing your praises"
First, do not apology. Drop the sorries.
"Missed your earlier text. THanks for the compliment."
Short. Sweet. To the point.
In fact, if you are at the point of LRT (ie going dark) then you do not even need to respond at all. Only respond to direct questions. Your Nice Guy Syndrome will make you feel guilty for not responding. Fight through that.
Rules for communication. Let phone calls go to voicemail. If she texts, only respond to direct questions. In as few words as possible. Yes or no questions get a yes or no answer. Also, do not respond right away. Respond in your own time. Remember you are out getting a life. You are busy. Too busy for phone calls, and busy enough that you cannot respond to text questions immediately.
REMEMBER: YOU CANNOT NICE HER BACK.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
