You are absolutely correct. He has ZERO concern for you. We all have been telling you this ad nauseam.
What I have found, many times people become motivated to change when they are faced with the loss of something. The loss of a relationship, the loss of a job, or the death of a loved one. The evidence is scattered throughout these forums. You see the evidence every time you look in the mirror.
Your H has not experienced this with you. Why? Because you are hanging on for dear life. There is absolutely no motivation for him to change.
You want to know when things "might" change? When you have no concern regarding what he thinks or does. When you put the focus on yourself and your happiness. Ultimately, your happiness is your responsibility anyway.
You have more power in this than you realize. You have to work on your EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT. When is the last time you read that thread? You want to know when your detached? When you don't have to wonder if you are, because you are busy living your badass life.
You have choices. I hope you choose to quit calculating moves in an attempt to get a reaction or his attention. It will never work. That's also evident.
Thank you....
Awake at.3am... I've got 2400sq ft of deafening quietness.
I'm working on emotional detachment.... right now I've just got anger and.disappoiintment followed by an huge sense of loss. I get that I'm working on 2 separate issues at the moment having left S19 college. I teased him that I would come visit on Wednesday (I just left him 3 days ago... lol)
Getting blown off by his stepdad was a bigger blow than he lets on... S19 is a lot more sensitive and sentimental than he let's on. It hurts me to see him crushed like that.
I've looked into taking some art classes to get out of the house more. These things can be hard to do with my work schedule. Then with Covid things get put on hold... some events are still going forward but many still are cancelling. Local high school just started back up and within first week it shut down for 2wks due to so many students in quarantine.
I've got to figure out how to get my sh@t together... suffering hopelessness right now. Going to try new exercise routine tomorrow and see.if it helps.
My female bff took tomorrow off so we could hang out virtually but then she wasn't feeling well 2 days ago. She has some chronic health issues sooooo not sure if that will happen.
Attic is 90%.done. Decided it would be best to tackle Christmas decorations at Christmas time. And there were a few more small items in the attic that H said he wanted 3 weeks ago... and I'm 100% certain he has forgotten because no mention of getting them.
Made real progress on my knit sweater. Also doing a mystery knit along with female bff.which has been lots of fun.
