Point of no return

[ovrrnbw]

https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2902138

I was hoping she might come around to counselling, especially when she had made comments that she has found it tough and the grass not being greener living on her own. However, she hasn’t shown any sign of change here, which then frustrates me[/quote]
Marriage counseling is pressure and it rarely does anything good IMO. You are frustrated because you think that if she went everything would be moving in a positive direction. There is not a good measuring stick. She is out. If and when she wants to be back in, you'll know without a doubt.

Over the last few months there has been a change in her behaviour. She has picked up a new female friend who seems to be encouraging her to go out and drink and this has caused some issues around her getting home safely, etc. It now also worries my daughter – I get blamed for all this though and creating these worries for my daughter to adopt. This is now a further issue for my wife – she keeps going on about being monitored, not being able to go anywhere without questions, etc. I don’t see why it is such a big issue unless she has something to hide.

Brother, she is not your woman. Act accordingly.

I told her on the call last night that it has to be over from my perspective now and we need to break contact, other than essential contact in relation to my daughter.

I would stop expressing non essential thoughts to your estranged wife. Definitely express zero feelings.

I know the next step is to really work cut the contact, other than essential contact for our daughter and divorce preparation. I will also accept I will have to watch from not far away how her new relationship develops, especially with social media. It will extreme painful for me. As I live a long way from family, I really worry about just being on my own in the local area having to manage this. The last year has been so lonely and all that I have focussed on is having her back in my life.

There is no work involved in cutting contact. You just do it. Only communicate about your daughter.

You don't have to "watch her new relationship develop". You should be making something great out of your life. Let her watch as you go be a great guy. Ditch the social media, or at least don't be friends with her.

Lonely can be nice. I remember when my wife was gone and I had the house to myself. No one else making messes, I got to enjoy doing what I wanted, without telling anyone. Just go wherever, whenever, for whatever reason. There's a lot of pluses to having the place to yourself.

And what is a "long way from family"? How far, or how long? The UK isn't that big is it?

Can't you make some friends around you? Start new/old hobbies? GAL?

Your W has feelings for you still, that means there is more than a 99.9% chance IMO. Go be the best you, go kill it at work, social life, personal growth. Stop pressuring her and get your swagger back. Lose the weight, get new clothes, stand straight, speak loudly, look people in the eye and smile a little.