Newlywed and DB-ing (part 3)

[SteveLW]

Why do you need to have this talk?

I need to have one last proper R talk with her. We haven't had one for months. I guess you can call it one last ditch effort to save her. I know that's not what all of you said I should do. I know nothing will probably change. But I need to do it.

She’s patting herself on the back for ending your relationship when you just got married? Am I reading that correctly?

Yes, basically she is saying she is the better person for admitting that this doesn't work and she's the brave one for ending it. On the other hand, I think our R is worth working on. Though I also understand that it's not worth having R with someone that is unwilling.

We had an R talk this morning through texting. A honest R talk. I explained my view on things. She expressed that she feels sorry but she still believes that we were not meant to be together. I saw no point in arguing against it and simply said "okay". Then, we wished each other well before agreeing that it's best to not talk with each other anymore.

I said goodbye to her family yesterday and returned her things. That was heavy, emotionally speaking. It has been a difficult few days.

I tried to keep a cool head through it all, but to be honest, inside, I am not. I am struggling here. The D is close, and I am more anxious. I know, D is the only way now, but I can't help but feel uncomfortable.

Perhaps I should feel betrayed and angry at STBXW with what she's done. But I can't bring myself to feel angry, I just feel sad. Perhaps I should hate her, but I don't. I've been trying to detach and distract myself these 8 months, but the fact is I still love her, and the loving thing to do is to let go and find my own peace.

So by need.... You mean want.

funbun, the one thing I'm so glad I learned in my sitch was to not sit and wait for anyone. Your STBXW knows she could snap her fingers at any time and have you back. That is called power. And you've done nothing in all this time to take her power away. Attraction for women begins with respect. Until you start commanding respect not only won't you attract her, but you'll never attract another woman either...