Like you did with D25. You were hungry and made some lunch. Later she made herself some lunch.
H is basically holed up in his room. He’ll figure something out for meals.
Now, if he is out and about within the house. Maybe even spoke to you. By all means you can ask if he wants to join for the meal. Something like, “Hi H. I’m making steak and potatoes. Would you like to join me?”
Ever situation is different because every person is different. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t. Follow this:
Do more of what works and less of what doesn’t.
You can propose a meal. If he rejects it; and he could, remember too much pressure; then it doesn’t work - for now. It might work later, but much later. Don’t try it again for a good while. Besides he can work a door, he can emerge and ask to join you.
We teach people how to treat us. You don’t want to be going to his room to see if he is ready for a meal. You’re not at his beck and call. Do like you did for the laundry.
Take your focus off H. Of course you have questions about MLC, and answers will come. Be patient. Dig deep for patience.
Take your focus off H. You are looking for signs. Crisis people are irrational. Their signs change all the time. And they are masters of manipulation. Pull back, way back. Give him space and time and a good portion of both. Let him choke on it. Now that might not sound all that compassionate. Counterintuitive. It is.
H is a troubled and lost soul. He needs to feel nothing for you, then from there realize you cannot be the cause of his pain. Then maybe look within and start to heal. He also needs to feel he lost you. You cannot be sitting around like plan B. You are the prize. You are the wife.
This is H’s journey and it goes at his pace and in his direction. Let it go where it needs to go. Anything else will delay his journey.
You have your own journey as well. Take you focus off H. Focus on you. GAL. Stand. Become indifferent. Compassionately indifferent.
You are doing fine. And asking good questions. This ain’t easy - oh boy do I know that!
You got this girl.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
