Yes I understand completely where you are at...even without specifics. I lived under a rock for 18 months in fear of her bringing more allegations to the table. Eventually I figured out that calling her bluff needed to happen...she didn't follow through with the threats and allegations...because she had no proof.

She was simply doing it to try to prevent me from getting any extra time with the kids...because then she gets less child support. What she refuses to acknowledge is I would pay her the same support even if I got the kids 50% of the time...because its not about money to me. But that is all she can see.

Now that it is finalized...I haven't heard from her in weeks. Its been refreshing to not have to defend myself from "you were 2 minutes late getting the kids; if you don't want to spend time with them just let me know", "S12 has a scratch on his leg; did you take him to the hospital? If not explain your actions.", and other similar things intended to file in court to show I'm a bad parent that doesn't care to see his kids. As soon as she got her money...the fight stopped.

Hopefully you're able to close out your case soon...the stress levels go way down when you do. That was my experience anyway.

We went back and forth on settlement offers for months. I got so sick of hearing what she was 'entitled' to because she was the 'victim' and how the judge would side with her if I didn't do what she wanted. She is a very good manipulator and only recently have I been able to see through her manipulation attempts.

I did not try mediation although that was the next step in trying to get a settlement.

Best thing I can advise...stop living in fear...its a terrible place to be as you've shown above. Stop living in fear of what she *might* do, stop living in fear of debt or housing in the future, stop living in fear of being single, stop worrying that friends or family might think negatively of you, continue taking the high road, and do what you know is right. Do what you've got to do. Stay strong!!


Me40; W38; S12; D9
BD11/19/2018 D filed 12/20/18
D Final 7/2020
Being the best example I know how for my kids to see.