I agree with Peacetoday. My XH did the same thing....lied to the bitter end despite me confronting him numerous times. The evidence was there...he was living with her...but swore ON OUR CHILDREN’S LIVES that she was just a roommate and someone he barely ever saw. Why do they do it? I think my XH didn’t want to hurt me (I know, ironic) and that he honestly thought that by the time I found out for sure, enough time would have passed that I no longer cared. That and he hates conflict and will do anything to avoid it. Also...third factor. Shame. He wanted what he wanted but it doesn’t mean he didn’t know it was wrong or that it wasn’t a betrayal of the highest order. Unless the WAS’s are sociopaths, they do feel shame which as we all know, is the WORST feeling. Hang in there PLC. My advice would be to stop worrying about the whys. It doesn’t really matter if the result is the same. Just keep the focus on you and on building your own life. Also...remember...the hallmark of real love is loving them enough to let them go. Focus on doing that. I did and I am SO much better off because of it. It’s not easy... but it IS possible if you keep at it. (((HUGS)))
