Why would you think it would be relaxing to be home for something so difficult?

I would come up with something to do that you really really want to do and try to not think about H as much as is possible for you.

If possible, make that thing service to others.

Do you have neighbors who need help in some way -- grocery shopping or yard work?

Could you write letters to all the residents of a nearby nursing home?

DO things. Fill your hours with goodness.

It will be hard enough to see your H when you get back but if you are full of the positive choices you made, it will be less hard.

I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.