Don, I appreciate your feedback and not being offended. Seriously, everyone is offended by everything, even when it has nothing to do with them. But I never want to offend anyone and lump them into a category.
That being said, I think you are 100% on point. It's not that guys just stopped trying at a certain age that I've been dating. I think they really have just not have been that into me. Enough to see me, hope to get laid, as long as they don't have to do anything. Well, that isn't acceptable to me. I think back to many guys I have dated. A few weeks, months, i put in most effort, I drive to see them, they rarely come to see me, and are willing to take what they can get without any effort, and as soon as i want some effort on their part, they ditch. It's been a reoccurring theme in my dating life. For the love of God, I did this with the same guy for a few years straight! I taught him that it was OK to treat me that way.
I think I finally realized I am done with that. I have developed zero tolerance for it. I am comfortable in who I am. A giving, loving vulnerable fun woman. If a man can't realize that and want to treat me right, then I am not for them.
I really think if a guy was that into me, he would put an ounce of effort in, seem interested and engaged. I simply haven't found that yet. And I seriously cringe at what I have accepted. ANd i just have no desire to deal with it anymore.
IN other news, I had a great week off. We did alot of fun stuff, went stand up paddle boarding, kayaking, jetskiing, beach and empire state building. It was nice having some actual fun. We are going to make the paddling boarding kayaking a regular thing on the weekends when the weather is good. It's close by, inexpensive and tons of fun.
I don't know what possessed me to decide to go back to work on a Saturday. But I go back tomorrow. To my second job. I spoke to manager at my second job asking if I could go down to 2 days, She said she couldn't do that because it wouldn't be fair to others, but she would absolutely hate to lose me. SO she may have come up with a reaosnable solution which involves all the sundays in a month working from home for 2 hours in the morning and then 2 in person days which I am on board with totally. I have knowledge of something that needs to be done in the weekend, that the other weekenders don't have. It just needs approval from the big boss.
I had a good week, but i am still struggling. Pain is the main reason right now. I am in 24/7 physical pain and it has made me miserable. I decided i am going to make other appointments I should be making to get to the bottom if this pain. It's time. It is far too depressing ot be a formerly very active person in constant pain.
I'll figure this all out for sure. It's just taking longer than most
